i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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