I bet he comes in French.
Someone shit on the floor
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
