just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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