So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Do I have a choice?
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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