if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
