Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
