I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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