I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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