Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
plz talk dirty to me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
