you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
