she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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