how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
