I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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