What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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