We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
