do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
