Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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