He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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