Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
