there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
