He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
