did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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