Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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