I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
