Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
