Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
