There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
