haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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