Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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