Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
