sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
