Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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