I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
