Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
