I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
