All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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