sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
