i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
