Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to have your abortion
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
