my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
