"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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