so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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