Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
