You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
