Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
