Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
