Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
