it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
