my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
