Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
