You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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