I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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