honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
